Guilty, yeah I am!

Life as an adult I hate!

Will I never fly?

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I seem to think in haiku meter now. 5 7 5! It is true though, I hate the adult life I have. It is lonely and almost feels without purpose outside of just being alive. As a kid I wanted to make the world a better place, I wanted more kindness, more cooperation. As an adult I see the futility in trying to make this a reality, there is so much of the world I can’t control. Frustrated at my own ineptness I explode, and then people run away, not wanting to be around me, I am more lonely – tis a fictious cycle. I do feel like somehow my wings are clipped, or like the weight of this world is so heavy I can’t take flight.

Some will say is it a more peaceful world than it was 100 years ago, maybe. I don’t think so. I rather think it is about as violent as it ever has been, kind of a steady violence. But I spend a lot of time reading old newspapers, and am a historian of sorts. There are some things that seem better from back then.

What I feel I need, that I don’t seem to have, is that sence of community, of a place where I truly belong. There is the session that happens about once a week – lots of music and yes good friends and there I feel more or less comfortable being me. But the rest of the week, I feel lonely. I never felt this way as a kid, I always belonged wherever I was, it was assumed by me. It is only as an adult I sence the lack, the “people don’t want me around” so I stay away and wait for people to contact me. Rarely do they, and so I spend a lot of time alone. I hate that, I want to be around people, I want to have conversations, to be in a community atmosphere. So:

1. What is community?
2. When is community good?
3. When is community bad?
4. How can we all make community better?
5. and help all people, young and old, male and female, straight, gay, transgender, whatever, fly. How do we become the wind beneath their wings??

Moira Levant © May 24 2018